There seems to be a rash of books, blogs and articles about “Self-Love”. You may read about it all you want and still not feel the love. Let's look at this and see if we can't muster up a little love and smother it onto that stubborn heart of yours.
You must be open to receiving love, this is the huge! I get it, we have all been heartbroken at some point in our lives. Maybe it was your parents, your best friend, your first love. Maybe your dog or cat ran away and left you. Abandonment is one of the key ingredients causing the self-love ills.
How many of us out there have sabotaged relationships because we were afraid of being abandoned? When we feel ourselves getting too close, we do something stupid in order to release the fear.
When we love someone with all our heart (mind, body & soul), we tend to be in a very sacred and vulnerable space. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can become sensitive and our emotions are then heightened and perhaps even electrified. We begin to internalize and analyze our fears, and perhaps even create drama. We tell ourselves we are not good enough. We begin to feel the same emotions, as if we are once again abandoned, from previous relationships and or times in our lives. The hurt rises to the surface (like the bubbles from boiling water) and floods all facets of the rationality we had left.
This is heavy stuff, right. Well, yes and no. You always have the power to erase the doubt and internal struggles. To do this, you must go back to those moments in time when you felt abandoned and tell your "inner child(ren)" they are safe. Tell them that you love them just the way they are. You need to give them virtual hugs, surround them with love and let them know you would never harm them or leave them. This may sound a bit silly but it honestly works, if you believe it.
Although I am not a licensed counselor or a physician. I have done this work and it has proved beneficial to me. Find someone who might assist you with this valuable process if you would like to try it.
When you release anxiety from your past, you can then surround yourself with the love you have been missing. Visualize filling the abandonment holes that you just released with love and security.
You are unique, there is nobody else like you in this world. You are the master of your life, your emotions. You choose how to feel. Choose love. Love yourself with all your might. Love yourself unconditionally. Love yourself first, before anyone else. This is not an egotistical love. This is not a love full of judgement. This is a love that allows you to let go of expectations and just be one with you. When you love "YOU", you become open to loving others.
You are full of pure awesomeness, each of us are. When you love yourself, you can begin to find your deepest desires and create the life you deserve. You will find yourself engaging in your life and you might even catch yourself smiling in the mirror...at who, you ask, at you!
Have you ever passed by someone who was smiling and happy, it is quite contagious. Self-love is attractive because that person displays a confidence that is only achievable when you are unconditionally in love with "YOU".
A few tips on how to find the inner self-love:
1) When you are brushing your teeth (assuming you do this upon wakening or at all) watch yourself in the mirror and muster up the courage to say, "I love you" and mean it!
2) Eat healthy & exercise daily to let your mind, body & soul really know how much you love them!
3) Find affirmations that really resonate with you and write them down and say them to yourself daily. Choose a new one each day.
4) Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging friends. This is important. If there is someone in your life who isn't this way toward you, release them.
5) Meditate - if only for 5 minutes a day. If you don't know how, read about it. It’s easy and will make you feel amazing!
6) Be in nature. Surround yourself with trees, flowers and the smells of the outdoors. Go on a walk and be present.
7) Leave yourself affirmation notes in special places throughout your home, car, work, etc.
8) Do something that invigorates you each day!
9) Listen to music that soothes your soul and uplifts you. I love Panache Desai's " 8-minute Soul Jump Start"...it will make you smile.
10) Do something wonderful and spontaneous for someone.
You are Pure Awesomeness...don't ever forget that!